CELL PHONES ON THE RUN - Part II in a Series

In the never-ending saga of cell phone necessity, I submit the following short burst.

Now that I've got a comfortable plan and a pretty good phone, Spouse One has decided to throw in a wrench. Since it's "Shopping Season," he suggested that I get him a cell phone for a Christmas gift. That means that I have to visit the dreaded-cell-phone-store, and once again wade through the plans, most of which are designed simply to confuse you into buying more than you need!

Up until a few months ago, Spouse One had a cell through his work, which he used for his work when he was on the road. The phone and the service were incredibly lousy, and POE (place of employment), is clueless. So, it's up to me to get Spouse One reconnected.

There are about a dozen models of phones, not one of which you can actually try out--listen and speak on to make sure they actually have the volume and tone you need. Each of the phones works on one or more of the plans. Then there are a dozen or so plans. Some are digital, some are a newer wireless technology (I think the signals bounce off passing birds, or something. Since their bones are hollow, this seems to work well. It's why you see so many wild and frantic birds in flight.)

Each of the two technologies also has a variety of calling plans and, of course, vary wildly in the cost.

The digital plan that gets you an $80 phone for, well $80, plus 400 minutes, which can be used anywhere in the U.S., will run about $50 a month. Last month I used 398 minutes, so if Spouse One is going to share my minutes, I'll need to up the ante. This plan, with its digital technology, works fairly well, except at my home. So when I want to call Daughter One in a far off state, I have to pay the long distance charges and use my landline.

The new technology gets you a sweet little flip-phone, plus a bunch more minutes, on the revered national plan, plus, for a limited time, I can get two or three free phones. Plus, my Spouse One account will be an additional ten bucks a month. Not really a bad deal. But there are so many other offers and plans and freebies, and none of them is compatible with any other offer or plan or freebie. So I'm still confused. And Spouse One still doesn't have a cell phone, and depending on how I feel by the end of this week, my own may be at the bottom of a frozen pond.

Here's what I do...run around...

Here's what I do: Run around a lot. Here's what I like: Naps on the couch. Here's what I accomplished this weekend: Making a mess.

If you have ever read any or all of the "Eloise" books, you know who I'm mimicking. Eloise was a wonderful 6-year-old child, the daughter of a diplomat who, along with his wife, were always absent, while Eloise was being raised by her Nanny. She was a "precocious," overprivileged child, who had hilarious and obnoxious escapades throughout her home--The Plaza Hotel in New York. She was constantly creating her own scenarios, most of which were imagined, and she was a natural drama queen. The books were written by a woman named Kay Thompson in the 1950's. My mother was given the books as they became available, as gifts from her girlfriends. I think they believed I was a precocious child, and that my mother would recognize me within the pages. The books were actually written as humor for adults, but I read these books over and over through the years, and may have developed some of my impatience from this kid. So, it is with this in mind, and Eloise's short bursts of thought and speech, that I catch you up on what I have been doing this holiday season...

Here's what I've accomplished: Spending a lot of money on gifts I'm not at all sure people will appreciate. Wrapping all those presents and making them look pretty so people will feel guilty if they DON'T appreciate them.

Here's what I've discovered: That I don't like the Christmas season (of shopping, spending, wrapping, rushing) nearly as much as I used to. It's not a "bah-humbug" thing, it's just that I'd much prefer holing up in a toasty cabin in the woods and snow somewhere on or near Lake Superior, sipping nog in front of a roaring fire (preferably in the fireplace!), while reading, all this with my immediate family.

Here's what I don't want: Cooking, baking, rushing, buying, wrapping, demanding, gifts.

Here's what I do want: A cabin in the northwoods. Friends who come and just sit and sip and chat. My sister-in-law's recovery. To ice skate again. To attend a wedding reception to which I'm not invited, and don't know anyone, and to dance with the father of the bride and tell him how wonderful his new son-in-law is, and how wonderful it is to see the whole family again, and won't they be sure and look me up when they are again in the Hamptons?

Here's how I feel: Dreadfully boring and unenthusiastic. And cold. It's below zero in Wisconsin, for goodness sake.

Here's what you should do: Read an "Eloise" book. You'll gain a new appreciation for pigeons and turtles that wear sneakers. And have a great holiday, for goodness sake!

Senator E. William Proxmire, 1915-2005

Okay, who said it: "Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous"? Was in John Kerry? Could it have been Teddy Kennedy? Was it today? Yesterday? It certainly could be one of the statements made by opponents of the Patriot Act, which is being debated as I type.

While I don't know exactly when the statement was made, I can assure you it wasn't terribly recently. I can tell you that it was a quote by one of my very-best-favorite-of-all-time statesmen, William Proxmire, Honorable Senator from the great State of Wisconsin. And since he hasn't been in office since 1989, it's probable the quote came prior to that date. Yet, the sentiment of the quote rings especially true today. And it's sad to note that Senator Proxmire died this week, of alzheimers. You'll find an all-too-brief biography of him here: PROXMIRE.

Proxmire was arguably one of the best "things" in politics--ever. He had an attitude about how things should work, much from the perspective of a middle-class worker, though he certainly was not. He was educated at Yale and Harvard, was a businessman, served in Wisconsin state politics, and served in World War II. He was 90 years old at the time of his death, but I personally could never imagine him being anything but the guy who jogged to his post in Washington, refusing to spend taxpayer dollars on a limo or private car. In 1976 and 1982--his last campaigns for senate--he refused to take any campaign contributions, and spent less than $200 out of his own pocket in each campaign just to cover the costs of filing for re-election. He was one of the first advocates of campaign finance reform.
Many may remember, and most favored, his "Golden Fleece Awards," which he gave to various businesses, defense contractors, science programs, etc., between 1975 and 1988. He believed these entities were wasting taxpayers' money. He was actually sued over one award.

One issue that he relentlessly advocated for was the Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide, adopted by the UN General Assembly in 1948 and enforced beginning in 1951. I note these dates, because the United States did NOT sign onto this convention, which was designed to prevent torture and deaths like those inflicted on people by Nazi Germany. Proxmire felt so strongly about this, that from 1967 until 1986, he gave daily speeches noting the necessity of ratifying The Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. After giving this speech every day that the Senate was in session for 20 years, resulting in 3,211 speeches, the convention was ratified by the U.S. Senate by a vote of 83-11 on February 11, 1986. The United States became a signatory to the convention in 1988, though only with the proviso that it was immune from prosecution for genocide without its consent.

Unfortunately, after all the efforts he made in Congress--so many of them successful--he still felt very strongly about successes that eluded him: "I have spent my career trying to get Congressmen to spend the people's money as if it were their own. But I have failed."

I met him once or twice in years past, and I cannot imagine that he failed at anything; except at being immortal.

Technology-Schmechnology

First in a series?

In my job and elsewhere, I sometimes encounter people who blast technology, as if refusing to believe that humans have created the very concepts of which they complain! The complaints are getting fewer -- perhaps because people are learning that I love and embrace the technology with which I work and play (toys, after all!), or perhaps people are becoming resigned to its existence and force.

Don't get me wrong -- all technology is not "good," if one can put a label on it. I don't favor the move to constant or secret surveillance that Big Brother has been implementing for some time. Nor do I favor machines that replace working people. I do tend, however, to try and see the good technology has done for me and people I care about.

For example, I held off getting a cell phone for some time, only to have Spouse One purchase one for me as a gift several years ago. For awhile, the 40-minutes-per-month package was adequate. After all, it was an "emergency contact" device, and I only live 20 minutes from work. Then, after paying overages a couple of times, I decided that I needed to up the ante. So I got a new package for only $5 more per month, but with 200 minutes per month, and 200 more minutes for nights and weekends. Sweet! I'd never need anything more! Well, you see where this is going. The minutes per month have been steadily increasing, but nicely enough the cost has NOT increased at the same rate! At that time, most of my calls were being made on my way to or from work to my family members -- which I would see anyway. Seemed rather ridiculous and a complete waste of money. Then things took a decided change. Daughter One moved several states away; I began using my cell phone to call Spouse One during the day instead of using a calling card; and it becamse a great way to heap guilt on Son One when he didn't call!! Because Daughter One doesn't have a land line (she's seldom in her apartment, anyway!) it's imperative that she have a cell, and it's with her all the time. Makes me feel much better about her safety and security, and we talk daily, which we surely wouldn't do if it were for landlines unanswered and expensive long distance minutes. Son One is on the road a lot with his job and Girlfriend One, and I worry much less about this accident-prone person when he's in touch -- and he knows it! My little red cell phone goes with me into classes so that when there's a crisis in my office, they can reach me. And, because my student workers can reach me while on my way home or elsewhere, I don't need to worry about working quite as many late hours...

What we do need to remember is that technology is more than just gadgets or computer software. It's the knowledge, stupid! It's how we get ourselves from point A to point B, and it's why some of the animals on the earth think of us as at the head of the food chain!!

This was fun! I may just make this a regular topic... look for the next installment of my new blog-series (would that be a "blearies?!"): "Doesn't It?!"

And always remember: Reality is only a collective hunch! (Lily Tomlim)