Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Babysitting, Daycare, Childcare...jargon, lingo and the truth of the matter

Image hosted by Webshots.comHere are the two most beautiful girls in the world. Daughter One hugging her very best childhood friend at Friend One's wedding. These girls were friends right out of the womb--Friend One's Mom provided wonderful daycare for our Son One and Daughter One, from the time both were tiny babies. Our four kids were virtually inseparable until well into their high school years when interests and approaching adulthood took them in different directions. We lived a half block away from each other, and it was this "village" that raised all of our kids. The wedding was a wonderful culmination of a lifelong friendship that is by no means over--just evolving.

"Daycare" seems such an impersonal word these days, only because it's been around for so many years and long ago replaced the term "babysitting" in the American language. The concept is wonderful, but the title is a bit sterile. If I were going to describe, in one word or phrase, what my children got while in the care of this wonderful woman and her family, I'd have to say "The Best." The best care, the best love, the best oversight, the best teaching, the best nurturing, the best friendship, the best upbringing, the best help... I could go on and on. "Best Care" seems a much better term for what they--we--received for all those years. And not only our kids, but Spouse One and I, as well. We had a wonderful place to visit, wonderful people with whom to share life events, we became friends...and our "village" raised all those kids in the neighborhood, something that today is sorely lacking. (Now doesn't THAT sound like my parents talking!!?) Actually, even at that time it was something that was disappearing, and we were so lucky to have.

Even though these kids have all graduated from high school and college and all of them are either married or in serious relationships, they are happy, stable people due in no small part to the care received during those years. I always felt like I couldn't pay this humble and capable woman enough while I was working and scraping. But then, what would have been enough? The only thing that would have been adequate, as I look back, was if I could have moved their whole family in with our whole family and just shared everything. So we shared what we could. Our kids were there, their kids were here, all the kids were somewhere in our little town together, and we knew they would take care of each other, as well.

This wedding was bittersweet for me and for Daughter One. I felt as if I'd come full circle, which is exactly what life is all about. And for Daughter One, it was a reaffirmation of a very close friendship that both girls had kind of grown out of a few years ago. I think they've discovered that they truly are lifelong friends, even if they live nearly 1200 miles apart. They have returned to this friendship, exchanging cell phone calls and email (I just love technology!), and this wedding made me swell with pride and realize that we had all done something very right by these four children in our two families.

As Friend One said as they were hugging and crying in the receiving line, "I was able to hold off crying until I saw you." Isn't it great when a friend makes you cry?!!