Tuesday, May 19, 2009

ONCE AGAIN...There are NO Coincidences...

Okay, so as I was saying, there are no coincidences. Another case in point:

A couple of weeks ago my mom asked if I would mind taking her to the oncologist about 40 miles away, in a small city she's become unfamiliar with. She recently moved back to Wisconsin after 13+ years in New York, and need to re-establish her doctors here. The next one on the list was this one, Dr. B. But as "luck' would have it, the day of her appointment was inconvenient for me, so she agreed to a reschedule. I called the Doc and rescheduled for today. No specific reason other than it was the next morning time available on his docket. I took the day off and off we went to EC to see Dr. B. The appointment was at 10 am; perfect. We had time to swing through Caribou for some java and got to the appointment fully 15 minutes early. And the rest of the day was ours to romp. Okay. Enough set up; here's where the non-coincidence comes in.

While cruising down the expressway, Mom One says "Polly called last night. Wants me to come to Auntie's this afternoon because Pol is coming down for Auntie's birthday." Polly is my cousin, Auntie is Mom One's only sister.

Sounds rather non-interesting at this point, but there's more. Mom One and Aunt One haven't spoken for awhile. They are both Scandinavian-stubborn, and this little tiff is a non-issue. But left to their own devices, I knew at some point they'd reunite. Problem is, they are both aging fast. Mom-One is 80+; Aunt-One is 88 tomorrow. How long would this tiff last, and would it outlive them? While one of my siblings has been trying to give Mom a little guilt and the other is not saying anything, I, too, have been choosing my words carefully.

So, being very cautious so as not to rock that boat, I said, "Well, isn't that nice? Polly called! Wouldn't it be nice to see her?" to which Mom-One said, "Yes, it would. I told her I didn't know if I'd come. " Then I had to hear the story of why...again. So, here's how the conversation went:

Mom: Polly wants me to come to Auntie's this afternoon to see her, and to help celebrate Auntie's birthday. I don't know if I want to go, though.

Me: (Thinking, OMG THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE'S EVEN HINTED AT GOING THERE!) Well, that would be fun, wouldn't it? It will be nice to see Polly; I haven't seen her for a long time.

Mom: Yes. It was so nice of Polly to call me; no one else has called me about coming to see Auntie.

Me: (Thinking, OMG SHE'S ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT GOING!) Well, perhaps after the doctor appointment we could stop and get her a gift; I should get her something, anyway and send it with you--if you decide to go. I have to stop and return a couple of things at the store, anyway.

Mom: I don't know if I'll go. I'd like to see Polly though.

Me: (Thinking OMG, SHE'S GOING TO GO!!)

Went to the doctor, all is well, she's happy, I'm happy, let's go shop! I really did have some things to return, and it  did give us an excuse to get some birthday goodies. How great is this? What a -- coincidence?! Not a chance... this was meant to be.

Me, as we're getting into the store: What does Auntie like to eat, what kind of candy?

Mom: She always loved chocolate, dark chocolate. I'm not sure I want to go (as she's walking down the greeting card aisle, picking out a sister birthday card)...

So as we're talking I'm picking up a cute little basket, some Dove Chocolates, some Burt's Bees foot lotion, shower gel and a sponge, and Mom is looking over everything.

Me: I could send this stuff with you to Auntie's, but you know, I'd love to see her and I have the day off, and I wonder if you'd mind if I come along...

Mom: I'd rather you did, actually -- I'd feel better if you went with me.

She's worried about showing up, I think, after all this time of not speaking and how awkward it could be.

Me: That's it, then, we'll just go together. I can't wait to see Polly. I haven't seen her in a long time, and I haven't been to Auntie's new apartment...

Mom: Yes, it will be fun to see Polly.

So, we're cruising down the expressway once again, only this time the opposite direction, toward the exit that will take us to a reunion... I can tell Mom-One is nervous about this, but I can also sense some real excitement which I haven't seen in her for a long time. She said as we turned off at the exit, "We'll have to stop before we get there to put together our package!" She was truly having a good time... So I took a step into the abyss and said, "You know this is a good thing. You just never know what will happen to any one of us at any time, and you would both feel terrible if something happened and you never saw each other again." She agreed. That was that.

On arrival, we were met by two cousins, Polly and Mart; it was boisterous and chatty and so welcoming. But the very best part was seeing these two sisters reunite. Auntie cried, Mom cried, Polly cried, I winked at Polly, Mart giggled, then we all laughed. We left to pick up another aunt who is a widow, and took the three of them to lunch. Those three women never stopped talking.

The years melted away, and I could envision them as they were when I was a kid, sitting in the kitchen with coffee and cigarettes and beers and bare feet and talking and giggling a mile a minute. As if not having missed a single beat.

Life is good, you have to admit. And there are no coincidences. I told you!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Beautiful Fall Days, Bayfield Count, Wisconsin - October 2008


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