Spam, Spam, I Hate Spam!

Actually, when I say I hate spam, I'm no longer talking about the mystery meat that comes in the cans. You know the stuff: It came in that cute, oddly shaped can with the key, that when opened, became lethal, because of the sharp edges? The cans that grandma used to cut out the molasses dough to make Aunt Sally Cookies, and the same can that sliced into my sister-in-law's foot when she was a kid, running barefoot. They've made those cans safer and more practical, but the key is gone, and that was the cool thing about the can.

Anyway, that's NOT what I'm referring to. Most of you know well what I mean when I say "spam" these days -- electronic mystery messages, not meat. And any of us who rely on dial-up internet connections for at least part of our daily dose of electronica, are particularly irritated by the dozens and hundreds and thousands of messages we get trying to sell us some software, getting us to meet the lonely housewife who wants to put a little fun in our lives (she could come to my house and clean if she has nothing else to do!), or telling us what we have is too fat, too short, or too tired, and they can help!

But since e-spam is so inevitable at this point in time, I've decided to have a little fun with it, when I have a moment. I've discovered that these people are getting truly creative in some of the bogus names they've created in order to fool my spam guard software.

The following is a list of actual names that I received spam from just today (I am not nearly imaginative enough to have made this stuff up!) This is not counting the 100 or so others I simply deleted because they didn't have interesting names. Enjoy this list of ridiculous monikers. I might add that I do not in the least mind publishing the emails that came with the messages, and you might enjoy some of those as well. The addresses are undoubtedly bogus, and if they are not, then these creative people can figure out a way to block messages coming to them as a result of this blog!!

Pedagoguing B. Drywalls [sublimed@evyc.com] - wasn't selling drywall but Cialis

Admirably D. Alchemists [Ivory@atlantic-pro.fr] - introduced herself as "Tammy, a lonely housewife"

Caveman S. Carmine [gravest@actuarios.net] - may have been a caveman, I'm not sure

Shoeshine U. Church [grime@galeriesford.com] - I'd be embarrassed to say what this one was trying to convince me to do, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with shoeshines or church

Starlit T. Menhaden [churn@avivamm.com] - Again with the mortgage deal

Torgils Eddy [EddyTorg_7460@kenrosa.com] - I liked this because my grandmother had a counsin names Torgil

Tadio Ruck [jakedredi@format-reload.com] - I thought this sounded like piglatin for "radio truck," whatever that is

Dislocates J. Alden [venereal@h21158.toyota-hdl.de] - a Viagra/Cialis sales pitch; makes you wonder about the "dislocates"

Journalism C. Detecting [aloha@drewpol.info.pl] - all about the no-classes-to-attend degree

Sears B. Cigar [betaking@bbcministries.com] - was selling mortgages, not cigars