Spam, Spam, I Hate Spam!

Actually, when I say I hate spam, I'm no longer talking about the mystery meat that comes in the cans. You know the stuff: It came in that cute, oddly shaped can with the key, that when opened, became lethal, because of the sharp edges? The cans that grandma used to cut out the molasses dough to make Aunt Sally Cookies, and the same can that sliced into my sister-in-law's foot when she was a kid, running barefoot. They've made those cans safer and more practical, but the key is gone, and that was the cool thing about the can.

Anyway, that's NOT what I'm referring to. Most of you know well what I mean when I say "spam" these days -- electronic mystery messages, not meat. And any of us who rely on dial-up internet connections for at least part of our daily dose of electronica, are particularly irritated by the dozens and hundreds and thousands of messages we get trying to sell us some software, getting us to meet the lonely housewife who wants to put a little fun in our lives (she could come to my house and clean if she has nothing else to do!), or telling us what we have is too fat, too short, or too tired, and they can help!

But since e-spam is so inevitable at this point in time, I've decided to have a little fun with it, when I have a moment. I've discovered that these people are getting truly creative in some of the bogus names they've created in order to fool my spam guard software.

The following is a list of actual names that I received spam from just today (I am not nearly imaginative enough to have made this stuff up!) This is not counting the 100 or so others I simply deleted because they didn't have interesting names. Enjoy this list of ridiculous monikers. I might add that I do not in the least mind publishing the emails that came with the messages, and you might enjoy some of those as well. The addresses are undoubtedly bogus, and if they are not, then these creative people can figure out a way to block messages coming to them as a result of this blog!!

Pedagoguing B. Drywalls [sublimed@evyc.com] - wasn't selling drywall but Cialis

Admirably D. Alchemists [Ivory@atlantic-pro.fr] - introduced herself as "Tammy, a lonely housewife"

Caveman S. Carmine [gravest@actuarios.net] - may have been a caveman, I'm not sure

Shoeshine U. Church [grime@galeriesford.com] - I'd be embarrassed to say what this one was trying to convince me to do, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with shoeshines or church

Starlit T. Menhaden [churn@avivamm.com] - Again with the mortgage deal

Torgils Eddy [EddyTorg_7460@kenrosa.com] - I liked this because my grandmother had a counsin names Torgil

Tadio Ruck [jakedredi@format-reload.com] - I thought this sounded like piglatin for "radio truck," whatever that is

Dislocates J. Alden [venereal@h21158.toyota-hdl.de] - a Viagra/Cialis sales pitch; makes you wonder about the "dislocates"

Journalism C. Detecting [aloha@drewpol.info.pl] - all about the no-classes-to-attend degree

Sears B. Cigar [betaking@bbcministries.com] - was selling mortgages, not cigars

...rain and cut wires...a revisit

The text has to be blue, because we've seen so much water lately! Falling from the sky, mostly. I'm not sure if Wisconsin has overlooked spring, or if the western half of the country has, in fact, broken off and fallen into the sea, and we are left to take the place of Seattle. But it's been chilly, rainy, and dreary here for about 10 years (okay -- I'm exagerrating. It's only been about 10 weeks.)

Now that you have a clear understanding of the current weather conditions in western Wisconsin, I'll ease into the topic of weather and how it affects cut utility wires.

In a previous blog or two, I addressed the issue of flooding bandrooms, excavation equipment onsite, and the blatant destruction of clearly-marked-with-orange-paint utility wires. Following the blatant destruction (I'll call it BD), came the sudden cessation of phone service. Service was restored because we know a phone service worker who takes pity on stupid people.

But this week, as the rain-soaked tundra became more sodden, so didst the spliced phone wires. I didn't see what spouse used to splice the last cut, but I wouldn't be surprised if silly putty were an ingredient. I KNOW there's duct tape underground hugging wires somewhere, and surely there's a yard or two of electrical wire. None of these things is impervious to damp--no, swampy--soil. So, when spouse ran through the house with my cell phone the other night, my interest was piqued. Then, when he returned with cell phone to ear and landline phone in hand, the intrigue grew.

As I picked up the extension phone, I realized what he was doing. Using my cell phone to get help because the landline had lost viability!! In fact, the sound on the landline was a combination of clicks and whistles and two different but simultaneous dial tones, and a lot of static. Aha! I knew what that sound combination was -- it was the sound of water leaking into the spliced phone lines! (Or we'd made contact with whales.) How did I know, you ask? Well, because I've heard this sound many times before! Specifically, in our previous home, where the phone lines went through similar incarnations, from whole, sealed lines, to a system of cuts and splices throughout the yard. In our house, we not only check the batteries in the flashlight when the tornado season begins -- we also check the battery in the cell phone before a rain.

Finally, at 9 pm, out the door he went, returning 15 minutes later, drenched and muddy. Seems he had run out to DIG UP the phone lines, laid them across a saw horse and covered them with a plastic drape --"so they could dry out." It just doesn't seem like this will be a good resolution each time it rains.

I've always worried about contaminated surface water seeping into the wells and aquifers. Now it can even get into the phone system! What is the world coming to?!

The end of an era...

Actually, it's only "the end of a semester," but "end of an era" sounds so much more literary and cranial!!

Tomorrow is, in fact, the last day of our academic year here at this institution of higher learnin' and it's come none too soon! Since I'm an "adult learner" pursuing the degree that for so long eluded me, I fall in the ranks of the other more traditional students on this campus who are streaming out of the classrooms, and out of the dorms, embarking on whatever the summer and/or future might have in store for them. On the other hand, I know what the summer/future has in store for me. Since I'm also an employee of this here institution, I won't have the luxury of leaving town for points "home" when the sun falls on this semester. Damn. I'd really like the change of heading somewhere else!

And, as if it isn't enough of a slap that the students get to fly away, so do many of the faculty and teaching staff. They are often gone almost as soon as the students, to pursue whatever pursuits they pursue during the summer months. Some attend school, some teach online, some travel. I stay. The summer for me is a time to update, upgrade, upload... and prepare for the fall semester.

Sound like whining? It's not, for the summer is a great time to be here. It's quiet, the campus is beautiful and peaceful, and the schedule isn't nearly so grueling. And there are lots of opportunities for vacations and days off here and there.

Besides, if I stay, I get paid. Not a bad option. If I stay, I continue to get benefits. Also not a bad option. And if I stay, I get to keep the job. At least until I screw up, which could happen any day. I'll work on avoiding that.

Pets and family... any difference?

It may sound like I'm comparing animals to family members, but you must put this all in perspective. While most of us have at times suspected that we are related to a sub-species (that reference usually comes after some significant disagreement with an in-law ), that's not what I'm talking about.

This weekend was insignificant in any real sense of accomplishment by myself. I spent most of the weekend either driving, riding, or sitting in a hospital. Yet the events of the weekend were profound in a very humble sort of way.

A good friend lost her dog to age and illness this weekend, and a dear human member of my own family is near the end of his own life, as well. Very sad, in both respects. However, these events have relative significance to me in several ways.

First, we all have beings in our lives which touch us in all sorts of ways. A loving pet who is a dedicated friend no matter what, and a human being who shows his love by teasing and bantering.

In both cases, and in some other cases in my life, there was time to say goodbye, which is a rare and often overlooked gift. Many people I know refuse to do that, because they believe there is always another chance. It is an opportunity lost. Even if the words "good bye" are never uttered, the message takes on many forms, from a simple visit, a hug, a kindness shown to family members.

Finally, I find myself thinking about the many different kinds of relationships we have with people AND animals, and how many people I know who have never had a pet. For me, personally, I don't think I'd understand or be able to tolerate a good many people I encounter if it hadn't been for the understanding I've acquired because of animals I've known and loved!!

Many animals and people have given me joy in my lifetime. But there's nothing quite like the loving relationship one develops with an animal who cannot utter a word but speaks volumes.

How things should look at our house by this time of year...
I use these photos to convince myself that summer will come.
I'm just hoping it iwll be here for more than a day.

It's warmer in the south...

So, just about 9 hours ago, I was moaning and complaining and creaking because of the miserably cold, wet dark and dreary weather in northwestern Wisconsin. As I walked and my umbrella turned inside out, and my oversized hooded sweatshirt offered little protection from the onslaught of rain and sleet, I was so happy to be heading for the south...

Now, here I am! In the balmy regions of Janesville (yes, still in Wisconsin, but alas! in SOUTHERN Wisconsin, and on the cusp of Illinois) where the air is noticeably calmer and warmer, though still damp and dreary and unspringlike.

After traveling to visit a not-well uncle in hospital, checking into the motel, and lugging too much "stuff" for a two-day visit, I decided I was going to work on my notes for a final exam next week, and take a stab at a formal presentation coming up in just a few short days. Since there is an internet-connected computer nicely situated in a quiet corner of the lobby, I presumed that there was no internet access in the rooms, and didn't even look for a connection. I opened up the laptop and what to my wondering eyes did appear? But a dialog box and these alerting words: "None of your wireless connections can be found. Would you like to log on to the BWJanesville wireless network?"

HELLO! Of course, I thought, and hit the "YOU BETCHA" key, which immediately gave me access to the world. Sweet.

So chuck the idea of homework! I am, I said, to no one there -- doing email and blogs!!

It may not be warm and I may not have my own pillow, but it's kind of nice to be away in "the south", and enjoying a little blogging! But at some point I am going to have to work on the other stuff, which is why I brought the laptop on a weekend away in the first place.

Damn. I can talk myself right into a funk.

Da blues, Baby!

Have you heard the blues? I mean really heard the blues the way a local, "cowpie circuit" band plays da blues?

The band is MoJo Lemon, the venue is any blues place in western to central Wisconsin. They play Hallie to Rice Lake to Eau Claire to Glenwood City to Menomonie to Wausau... and they keep moving. Good band. Really.

I can't even use the quip "three musicians and a drummer" with this band, because Cory the drummer is so good! He's only 24 years old, and gives legendary Gene Krupa a real run for his money.

Will bounces and so do his keyboards (three of them!), Terry smokes on bass and vocals just as deep, and Josh fondles the lead guitar and many of the vocals... four guys make the room sound as full of music as you can get.

Kenny Wayne Shepard, BB King, Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton ... all sound great performed by this band. But when they play Stevie Ray Vaughn, you can see the tears run down the street!!!

Not a vanilla sound in the bunch.

Great music, guys.

For everyone else: Find them and listen -- http://www.mojolemon.com/

Again with the fascism?!

It's very easy to bask in the wealth of the United States, even if you are not wealthy. Even though we have a government and media that picks and chooses what we hear and are asked to believe, we have the ability and freedom to look outside our government and borders for information if we choose. There are places that are much less forgiving.

A co-worker's daughter is a foreign exchange student in a South American country, and the last letter was filled with this 17-year-old's story of political retaliation for speaking out against the president. Her host "mom" has been working with a successful, flourishing business. Recently, the business began losing business very quickly and was forced to downsize its staff. The woman, while on a sales trip four hours from her office, was shown her picture and an article in a local newspaper, and told by her customer that they could no longer do business with her company because of the position she had taken against the president. She ran for public office in her community, and spoke out about the country's administration, and how she felt they were wrong. It seems because of that, both she and her company have been punished. And the laws that have been passed about dissent include prison time.

This young student has learned much, it seems, about her world neighbors. Only a couple of years ago she was a rebellious teen who thought that moving to a new community with her family was the end of her life! She was, like most young people, inexperienced in anything outside her small world. In a very short time, she's become a young adult with an understanding of world affairs many of us never realize. She's perhaps received more education in 9 months of being out of the country that she has in her life to the point at which she left the U.S. I have no doubt she'll return to her native U.S. with a very different perspective than the one she left with!

Though we may not agree with any or all the branches of our government, we still remain relatively free to voice that opposition and stand on a soapbox while doing so. Other places and their people are not so fortunate. I know things are not perfect here, but I'd like to work on making things better, and hope the young people of the country will see the value in doing the same.

Moving dirt and cutting wires...

In an earlier post I wrote about the melting snow and flooding band rooms. We all vowed to never let the waters flow through the shed again. I was firmly convinced that was one of those post-alcohol-binge resolutions that is swiftly forgotten once the pain has gone.

In fact, I came home Friday past to find son and son's friend busily destroying the sod, and occasionally punching dents and holes in the steel of the shed with a DitchWitch -- one of those lovely small tractors that has the capability of trenching and digging. After an hour of making a mess, they were off for a beer.

But Saturday saw the arrival of two large tractors -- one a John Deere and one an International, with which spouse and son proceeded to dig and move so much dirt I would have guessed they had relocated an entire field. They removed the buried walls of the shed from beneath the sod, and lo and behold! Now that all the dirt has been moved to various piles beyond the excavation site, the task will be to relandscape the yard to some semblance of useability. We'll see how much gets done and how fast. The good news is that, even if left the way it is, the water will not flow through the building but around it.

And even though there are painted markings on the grass, made by an electrician, depicting the location of various wires, these "guys" only tore up a telephone wire and a huge black cable approximately 3/4" in diameter, the function of which we cannot determine. It was not one of the wires located by the electrician with his "wire-locator", and since we have not, nor have any of our neighbors been deprived of power, the reason for this wire remains a mystery.

I'm wondering if this is the cable that holds the earth together. Quick! Bury it again, and weight it down with a brick before it all falls apart!!